Daily photo 4

Day 3

Well, today's a bit of a write off as far as some of the challenges. I was up for about 22 hours, slept for a couple hours, up again now for a bit but pretty sure I'll be in bed soon. Had a fabulous morning with one of my best friends which leaves me inspired and pumped. So, that's awesome but at this point studying is not going to happen and I'm thinkin neither is the meditation, but I'm okay with that. Volunteering over the next few days and that's always inspiring. Will aim to fit in some studying and meditation along with continuing the photos over the next few day despite the wonky schedule. We'll see how the next few days go and will get back to a more regular schedule and back into some kind of swing of things next week.

Lookin forward to the music!

Ciao!

Daily photo 3

Day 2

Buon giorno! Come va?

Journal/Blog day 2

Was a little more successful with the meditation this time around. Got a few minutes in before I slept and a little more this evening before heading to work. Still struggling to clear my mind and focus but a little at a time I'll get there.

Was up around 5pm today and took and posted my photo for the day. Got into a cold shower again. I think I'm going to struggle to take a cold shower every day for 30 days as it's tough and I like really hot showers. But, I'll keep trying and we'll see what happens.

Spent almost an hour and a half on my Italian course today. I'm almost finished the second level (there are 5 levels, each with 4 units of 4 lessons). Bravo! Yay me!

Working on maintaining some inspiration. I see the words on my mirror and again on the computer at work. I find myself checking my attitude more often to ensure I'm looking at the positive and not just dwelling on the negative. :)

The next few days are going to be wonky as I'm going to be essentially functioning on naps. As I mentioned in the last entry I work nights but I'm off for the next few days and will be volunteering at the Folk Festival (woot!) so I'll be a little all over the place. This puts getting up early out of the running because if one is going off of naps what is early? Ha ha. Anyway, I'm aiming to keep up with the rest of the tasks. Wish me luck!

Questo è tutto per ora.
Ciao!

Daily photo 2

Day 1

Buon giorno!

My journal/blog for day 1.
So far so good.

Found my inspiration for the month:

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else; And for everything you gain, you lose something else. It is about your outlook towards life. You can either regret or rejoice.

(photo here - it is my current desktop background at work and a printed copy is on my mirror)

I was able to get up early (for me) today at 4:30pm - I work nights so I get home between 7:30 and 8:00am and am often not up till around 7:00pm lately. Therefore, I did well with this one. :)

Took and posted my photo this afternoon (see previous post) and had a cold shower - wow is that ever tough to get into intially, had to start warm and work into colder, but I did it. And as far as my studying I spent the past 1.5-2 hours working on my Italian course. Parla con me?

My challenge today has definitely been the meditation. I couldn't focus or get my thoughts to stop long enough to be successful before work, maybe I'll have better luck this morning before I sleep. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

Until then remember: Attitutde is a little thing that makes a big difference.

Ciao!

Daily photo 1

30 Day Challenge

*Inspired by: High Existence

Was reading articles on high existence and came across one on 30 challenges for 30 days (see above link) and was inspired to take on a few for myself through the month of August. The ones I have chosen are:

#3 Take one picture each day (Hard)
This one gets harder nearing the end of the challenge because at one point you will run out of the easy shots. This one is great to combine with other challenges, a great way to make a photo diary!
--> I will try to post each photo here.

#13 Study a topic you’d like to master each day (Hard)
Always wanted to know everything about Animal Behaviour? Psychology? Physics? Philosophy? Educate yourself without school! Pick a topic, plan at least a lecture or an assignment each day and become a genius on your passion!
--> I've been slowly working on learning Italian for an upcoming trip and have been slacking so this should help me get back on track. Maybe by the end of the month I'll post in Italian.

#18 Inspire yourself each day (Easy)
Studies have shown that people who are inspired are happier, nicer, productive and will not stray away from their chosen path if life gets difficult. So print a quote and tape it to the mirror. Have an inspirational video as your starting page. Use an inspirational mantra for meditation. Get a principle to live by. In short, get your dose of inspiration each day!
--> Now to find an appropriate quote.

#19 Take a cold shower each day (Intermediate)
Cold showers are great for uplifting ones mood, cure stress related diseases, to strengthens ones immune system and to make your skin beautiful. You can read the reports of some HEthens that have been trying it for some time over here!
--> I don't mind the occasional cold shower but a month straight...

#23 Wake up early each day (Intermediate)
It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom. – Aristotle
--> I like my sleep, this should be interesting.

#24 Keep a journal (Intermediate)
Great for memory, reflection and especially awesome to look back to in the future and remember the good old times when you did these challenges!
--> I'm going to keep my journal here so aiming for daily posts.

#26 Combine challenges (Easy)
Take a photo of yourself reading a different book at a different location. Take 10,000 steps on a new route to meet a stranger and ask for a recipe to try out. Do all challenges, a different one each day. Wake up early to make time to meditate, practice self compassion and yoga. Finish it off with a cold shower!
--> I think my list covers this.

#29 Meditate each day (Intermediate)
--> Seems like a good way for a little "me time" every day.


And so here begins my 30 days challenges. :)

Tim Harford: Trial, error and the God complex | Video on TED.com

Entertaining and thought provoking talk that I thought I'd share.

Wake up and dream

Live the life you always wanted.
Take a leap of faith and reach,
no one's going to do it for you.
What are you waiting for?
What's holding you back?
I'd hazard a guess
that it's you.
Your own fears,
worries,
and what ifs...
Let them go.
They don't matter.
All we have is here and now,
better make the best of it.
Or you'll only be left with
thoughts of what might have been.
Better to regret what you've done
than to regret that you never tried.

K. Flay

Was introduced to her music and this video by a friend of mine and I'm diggin it. Check it out!

K. Flay live at the Pheonix

I miss you

Maybe I do...

but maybe what I really miss is the idea of you...

Some things are better left unsaid, some questions better off unasked, but some demand and persist until you don't have a choice...

Dear old friend,

What do I mean to you now? If anything at all...

You say you'll be in my city for a show but won't be able to visit - so why did you tell me? Were you testing to see what response you would get? Looking for a reaction? Testing the water maybe...I don't know what to make of this.

Then, a random three word message: "I miss you" - my mind goes off on all kinds of tangents with nowhere to land because I don't know where you stand and I'm scared to ask. Uncertain as to whether or not I really want an answer.

My mind wanders. I remember seemingly simpler times...easy conversation about anything and everything...curling up on the couch watching movies...lying on the trampoline to watch the stars...dancing...cheesecake...late night coffee...you were my rock, the one I could lean on, and trust to catch me - or carry me on occasion - and I want to thank you for that.

I also want to apologize for any time that I have taken you for granted, I never meant to...

--

Time marches on. Life gets in the way. Things get complicated - though this is likely only because we make it that way. Choices are made, chances are missed, and we go on trying to make the best of what we've got.

--

I miss you. I miss the friendship that we had. My mind reels with what ifs, and questions of what might have been, despite knowing I'll never get any answers because I can't change the past, I can't go back and redo things.

I reached a point of acceptance - at least I thought I did - accepting that our lives went different directions and I don't mean what I once did to you. But that doesn't stop me from caring or thinking about you and wondering if you're happy.

Maybe the connection we shared is still there just waiting for the right contact to reconnect and complete the circuit... I miss what we shared before and part of me continues to wonder if there should have been something more... I'm afraid to ask. I don't know what I would do with the answer and I don't know if I could handle it. Maybe it's all in my head...

--

You are one of the few that I have ever felt really connected with, believed that you really got me and I'm thankful for having shared that. I'm thankful that you have been a part of my life and will cherish what we shared and the memories we created. I hope that I've been good to you and have been the friend you needed me to be.

I would love the chance to get to know you the way I used to and to build on the easy friendship we've shared but I leave that up to you. I'm afraid to open myself up to find it to be one-sided but I'm willing if you are.

With love from your old friend

one more pill

spewing words into the void
talking
not really saying anything
not believing most of the words that come out of your own mouth
but still talking
why?
to hear the sound of your own voice?
to drown out the frightening silence?
to stop the voices in your head?
do you even know?
probably doesn't really matter
no one's really listening anyway
they're in their own little worlds
dealing with their own skeletons and demons
do we even really know each other?
there are so many things that allow us to connect
but very little that actually keeps us connected
that requires effort
and care
and the risk of getting hurt
and most of us are not okay with that
most of us aren't willing
to open up that much to ourselves
let alone to someone else
and we're so self-absorbed that we probably wouldn't even notice
or care
if someone opened the door
to let us into their world for a while
it's sad really
so many of us
spend our lives
alone together
no wonder there's a pill out there for every problem
no one wants to talk about what's actually going on
we want that quick fix
the bandaid solution
doesn't matter if it's not really a solution
it's better than it is without it

we are a damaged species
and we just keep digging the knife in
a little further
a little more
one more pill
and maybe it won't hurt anymore...

The rules of life from a wise, old homeless cat:

1) Ask for help when you need it.
2) Accept help when it's offered.
3) Take only what you need.
4) Respect the "Rules of the House."
5) Send a thank you note. (Or a dead mouse.)
6) Be open to new friends.
7) Be true to who you are.
8) If you find something that give you joy - like sailing by a woman on her way upstairs - do it with all your heart.

It would be a better world if we followed Spike's rules of life. Yes, I think he has it exactly right.

(This entry is from a story titled "The Purrfect Guest" by Vicki Kitchner printed in Chicken Soup for the Soul: What I learned from the Cat)

Need to write...

...but I don't know what it is that I want to say. I can feel it inside and the need for it to get out but I'm not sure what words to use to express myself.

--

Feeling lost and alone
though I know I'm not

alone.

--

Confused and uncertain and not knowing how to respond. Proud of what I made but unsure what to do with the reaction. No harm no foul, right? I'm not sure. I guess that depends on where you're standing.

--

Going round in circles in my head.
Going nowhere fast.
Doesn't really matter.
I guess it just wasn't meant to last.

I can handle anything for 60 seconds...

Everything is temporary...

Sexy is an attitude

It's not a body.
It's not a shape.
It's not a colour.
It's not the clothes (or lack of).
It's not the hair.

It's an attitude.
It's a state of mind.
It's you.
It's me.
It's everyone.

Chew on that for a while.

Thoughts on lyrics

But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?

~Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons

It's interesting to me how I relate to different lyrics. I really connect with these few lines lately though I couldn't really tell you why. I guess it has something to do with my state of mind recently and the questions that run through my head without answers. Curiosities, questions, decisions, no answers, no making any decisions. Concerned about hurting those close to me without meaning to, without knowing. I am who I am and I accept that. I also accept the fact that many don't understand and I can't explain. Ups, downs, laughing, crying, wanting to break free, wanting to curl up and hide. It's all there and yet it's nothing. It is what it is and I just have to stay on and ride it out. Somewhere along the way it evens out, it has to. If nothing else, I do know that there are a few I can count on to be along for the ride and regardless of what happens they'll still love me and accept me as I am. That I am grateful for, as I know not everyone can say that. The journey continues and I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and enjoy the scenery. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way and will keep in mind that I'm beautiful like me.