In the balance

Hanging by a thread.

Swinging.

Random thoughts pass through my head.

Did he love me?
Did he mean the things he said?
He's so much a part of me
though there's been no contact for years.
I don't know what happened to him
yet every so often he crosses my mind.

What will happen to me?
I wonder if someone will find me.
I wonder if the thread will last,
keep me swinging
until something is figured out.

I am who I am.
Can you understand that,
or will you try to change me?
I don't know if I can give you all you ask for.
Are you able to accept that?
Are you willing to take what I can give
even if it's not quite what you want?

I'm in the balance.
Balance of what?
I'm not sure.

Connected.

Detached.

Explained.

Undefinable.

Can you follow?
Does this make sense?
Do you even care?

Here I am.

Swinging.

Wondering what's happening elsewhere
while I am hanging by a thread.