Catch and release

It's a little weird to realize that I had been caught for longer than I thought but it feels really good to begin to reach the point of being released. To gain the awareness that I am in control, and that I can let go without falling apart. The knowledge that it's an idea and not an individual that claims my desire creates an odd kind of freedom. Realizing that allows me to smile and laugh again, and to move forward. An idea is something that can be carried forward and potentially made into reality at another time. It's much harder to reach release when one's desire is focused on an individual who desires something different. It pleases me to know that I can let go of what I had with him. That doesn't mean I stop caring or forget what we shared, but it does mean that I'm reaching a point of potentially being able to give myself to someone else. And this is a nice place to be in. It's a place I haven't been for a while and it's good to be back. It's fun to get caught up in touch, feelings, and desire. The trick is, if it ends, being able to figure out how to be released, again. This is something that we each must determine for ourselves for the particular situation. Just because something worked before doesn't mean that it will work this time, but it does give us a place to start. Time, space, and good friends seems to be what I needed this time. Maybe that'll help again and maybe something else will be needed. Only time will tell. For now, I'm going to have some fun and wait to see what happens next time I'm caught.