Saying goodbye

I don’t want to but I think it might be time that I have to. I love you but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t handle it anymore. I would like to be friends but I leave that for you to pursue. You’ve said things to me recently that make me wonder if it’s possible and have led me to decide that what happens in that regard is now up to you. For now, all I can do is turn around and walk away. I need to figure out some things for myself so that I can move forward and see where life takes me. I’ve been stuck for long enough, it’s time to get out the chains and pull myself out. Part of me will always wonder what might have been and I know that I will always miss you. I just have to accept that, tuck it away, and keep going. One step at a time and each event as it comes. In some ways, I know that I’ll be looking for what we shared even though I know I’ll never find that again. In time I hope to find something. I know that it will be different, but hopefully just as strong and as good, if not more so. I will always hold close the memories of what we shared and wish you nothing but the best life has to offer. You have been a big part of my life and played a huge role in helping to shape the person that I’ve become. I am grateful for the love you gave me and the things you showed and shared with me. I am grateful for having the opportunity to love someone the way I have loved you. I’m just not sure where I’m supposed to go from here. There’s so much going through my head that just has no coherence to it, and this is why it seems to make the most sense just to try to let it go. Does this make sense? Can you understand where I’m coming from? I hope that you do. I really don’t want to say goodbye but I don’t know what else to do. I can’t take the “what ifs?” and “maybes” anymore. I have so many things that I want to ask you but I don’t see how it would be helpful. You aren’t currently available to me and I have to find a way to accept that. If there’s something you need or want from me I hope you let me know. If there are questions that you want answers to then I hope you ask. I don’t know what else to say, except…

I love you.
I miss you.
Goodbye.