fear came to visit this morning
...well that's putting it nicely...
she is a child who came barreling at me in full force and slammed against me. i could feel her as a knot in my stomach. tightness in my chest. a lump in the base of my throat that seems to get bigger when i try to swallow it down. i met her with open arms and collective tears. embraced her. held her. repeatedly told her that she is welcome here. she is safe here. i will hold her for as long as she needs. i embraced all the sensations that she brought. i did my best to drop my walls and be fully present. to just be. letting go of control (not an easy task). moving into feeling. letting my logic brain run as it does without letting it run away with me. holding her. holding me. just be.
breathe...
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