There's something uniquely peaceful in being awake while the city sleeps...

the scent [of you] remained

the scent [of you] remained

long after [you were gone]

tempting

teasing

inspiring

embracing me

i wrapped myself in it's comfort

that's what i need

comfort

caring

simplicity

easy

so much has gone sideways recently

so many things that once were so easy

have become really complicated

--

i don't know that i have the strength for this

i'm trying to put myself back together

i don't know that i can hold you up too

i want to help

i want to be there for you

but i have to look out for me

i have to be aware

of what i can and can't do

what i have to offer

without detriment to myself

i do so much for others

it's time for me to be selfish for a while

i need to rebuild my base

i need help to do this

and i'm looking to find that in different places

you're not in a space to help me

and i'm not in a space to help you

as much as we want to

we just can't

i think it's going to do more harm than good

to lean on each other

we need to lean on others

keep the communication open

and come back together

when [if] we can

i know this is not what you want to hear

but i can't say what you want me to

not truthfully

this is our reality

this is where we've ended up

i love you

i know you love me

but that may not be enough

When did we lose the innocence?

When did things get complicated?
Where along the way did we lose the innocence?

Simple pleasures
like holding someone's hand
curling up with someone
finding comfort in the proximity of someone else
sharing the warmth and peaceful feeling
there's a connection
it's comfortable
it's reassuring
it's protective

When did it become sexual?
When did it become too far?
Did you not hold hand with your friends as a child?
Cling to each other when scared?
When did this become not ok?
When did this become relegated to significant others?

it's bizzare
we're social creatures
we need each other
yet we try so hard not to
and try to get everything from one source
but that doesn't work
there's a reason the divorce rate is what it is
and why so many relationships fail
we are social creatures
we need each other
one person can not meet all of another's needs
it just doesn't work
we can't be everything to everyone
and realistically
we can't be everything to anyone
not effectively for any length of time anyway

So, why do we keep trying?
Why do we keep fighting what's natural for us?

I don't understand
it doesn't make sense

When did things get complicated?
Where along the way did we lose the innocence?

everything is a product of...

moving forward
one step at a time
one foot in front of the other
one day at a time
learning to let go
learning not to take things on
that aren't mine to deal with
embracing love
taking down the walls
one brick at a time
slowly
it's takes effort
it takes faith
hope
trust
belief
looking through the glass
to see what's on the other side
accepting myself
damaged
imperfect
me
accepting you
for you
not expecting more
than you can give
trusting you
not to expect more
than I can offer
finding balance
with the past
present
and future
none of which exist
without the others
nothing exists
in isolation
everything is a product of
a combination
of various things
timing
and circumstance