one more pill

spewing words into the void
talking
not really saying anything
not believing most of the words that come out of your own mouth
but still talking
why?
to hear the sound of your own voice?
to drown out the frightening silence?
to stop the voices in your head?
do you even know?
probably doesn't really matter
no one's really listening anyway
they're in their own little worlds
dealing with their own skeletons and demons
do we even really know each other?
there are so many things that allow us to connect
but very little that actually keeps us connected
that requires effort
and care
and the risk of getting hurt
and most of us are not okay with that
most of us aren't willing
to open up that much to ourselves
let alone to someone else
and we're so self-absorbed that we probably wouldn't even notice
or care
if someone opened the door
to let us into their world for a while
it's sad really
so many of us
spend our lives
alone together
no wonder there's a pill out there for every problem
no one wants to talk about what's actually going on
we want that quick fix
the bandaid solution
doesn't matter if it's not really a solution
it's better than it is without it

we are a damaged species
and we just keep digging the knife in
a little further
a little more
one more pill
and maybe it won't hurt anymore...

The rules of life from a wise, old homeless cat:

1) Ask for help when you need it.
2) Accept help when it's offered.
3) Take only what you need.
4) Respect the "Rules of the House."
5) Send a thank you note. (Or a dead mouse.)
6) Be open to new friends.
7) Be true to who you are.
8) If you find something that give you joy - like sailing by a woman on her way upstairs - do it with all your heart.

It would be a better world if we followed Spike's rules of life. Yes, I think he has it exactly right.

(This entry is from a story titled "The Purrfect Guest" by Vicki Kitchner printed in Chicken Soup for the Soul: What I learned from the Cat)

Need to write...

...but I don't know what it is that I want to say. I can feel it inside and the need for it to get out but I'm not sure what words to use to express myself.

--

Feeling lost and alone
though I know I'm not

alone.

--

Confused and uncertain and not knowing how to respond. Proud of what I made but unsure what to do with the reaction. No harm no foul, right? I'm not sure. I guess that depends on where you're standing.

--

Going round in circles in my head.
Going nowhere fast.
Doesn't really matter.
I guess it just wasn't meant to last.